If your friend or colleague has experienced sexual violence, including sexual assault, sexual harassment, dating/domestic violence or stalking, here are some ways you can be supportive:
- Let them know university resources are available:
- If the survivor is an undergraduate or graduate student, let them know that their campus CARE advocate is available for confidential support and guidance. The advocate is a trained professional who can connect you with psychological counseling as well as explain medical, academic, legal and reporting options.
- If your colleague is a UC faculty or staff member, the experienced staff at your campus Employee Assistance Program can provide confidential support and connect survivors with available resources, including Human Resources if they want to file a complaint.
- Listen. Offer support and compassion. Be patient and try to avoid interrupting them or making statements that may be judgmental.
- Don’t ask for details about what happened or why it happened. Let survivors share what they are comfortable sharing. Avoid questions that suggest blame.
- Challenge statements of self-blame. The responsibility for the assault lies with the perpetrator(s), regardless of what the survivor did leading up to, during or after what happened.
- If the survivor wants to seek medical attention or report the assault, offer to accompany that person to the hospital, police station, campus security, etc.
- Ask how you can help.
- Respect the survivor's privacy. Do not tell others about the survivor’s assault or reveal any names or details, without the survivor’s permission.
- Take care of yourself. Supporting a survivor can be a very emotional and challenging experience. Pay attention to your needs — this could mean setting boundaries, spending time on activities you enjoy, or talking to a friend or counselor if needed.
